HASHTAG DRUNKEN PROMISES

In January, it was just one of these times. One of these times were little Joli just couldn’t shut her mouth and declared that she wanted to join a few of her field hockey team mates in a half marathon. It was about 02:30 am. At 02:36:00 am I was registered thanks to the fact that I willingly and without further thought gave away my credit card. 

So here it is, the log book of my first full half marathon. 

Start - Oh god, what have I gotten myself into? No backing out now… and people look serious
1 km - At least the weather is nice. Kind of sunny but still cool enough. Getting in the rhythm. 

           All is good.
2 km - Just don’t over pace. It’s still a long way. Legs feel great but better pace myself.
3 km - Oh, we are turning, I wonder if we get down to the water now. I bet the view along the
           coast will be beautiful.
4 km - Turn again. No ocean yet. Just as well. Better stay focused now, there is a little hill coming
           up. Just keep breathing calmly.
5 km - I am thirsty!
6 km - Water station at 5.5 km was excellent. Quick drink. Some cool water over the head.
           I can keep going.
7 km - Three more of this. Sounds doable. Kind of.
8 km - Ok, seriously, where is the ocean?
9 km - Ha, nice running down hill. I wonder if my legs look like in a cartoon, similar to
           Speedy Gonzales is running really fast.
10 km - Is it getting warmer, or is it just me? Person behind me is breathing real heavy.
            Don’t collapse on me there, I have no intention of stopping now.
half way - Haha, look at the road sign “Keep calm, slow down”. You wish, I am unstoppable!
11 km - Oh good, water, I was just about to ask. One to drink, one over the head. On my way
             home now.
12 km - Ok, I might be stoppable after all. Damn you left leg. Ouch right thigh. This can’t be
             healthy.
13 km - This is ridiculous. Why would anyone ever want to run this far? There will better be
             beer at the finish line!
14 km - Step after step after step after step. Wait, this is only two thirds? How devastating.
15 km - Hill of death, here I come. See you on the other side. Maybe.

16 km - I think I drank the water and poured the sports drink over my head. Oh dear.
17 km - Definitely poured the sports drink over my head. Everything is sticky. Maybe that’s why
             I can’t lift my feet of the ground anymore.
18 km - I survived the hill! Yeah, it’s downhill from here. I can do this. I can do this. Oh god, can
             I do this?
19 km - Finally water to wash all this sticky stuff off. Maybe I could sit down for just a minute?
20 km - I am still not there? Oh no, I forgot about that last 1 km. Noooooo. And where is that
             damn finish line. The course seems to go on forever.
20.5 km - I still don’t see the finish line. What is this? Are they doing this on purpose? First no
             ocean, then no finish line! That’s why it’s called April Fool’s run, I see. But wait, I
             hear something…
21 km - “And just finishing now, Jolônd F**ken…” You are just right mate, finally the F**ken finish.

Luckily we did have beer at the finish line. A nice tricycle, beer with grapefruit (for the daily vitamin intake). And as it turns out, there is actually an ocean along the sunshine coast. Who would have thought? We just never saw it along the way from Gibsons to Sechelt (it is also possible that I was just highly delusional along the way). By the way, I ran a 1:55:41, so that is that. Anyway, we went to the water afterwards and it was beautiful. Still, I will remain I-hate-running-Joli until next time.